"The Monkees" Rewatch: Too Many Girls (Davy & Fern)

“Too Many Girls” opens as the title implies; too many girls lurk around the Monkees’ pad in the middle of band practice and distract Davy. After the others manage to (briefly) shoo them all out Davy vows he’ll “never look at another girl, ever.” Despite the boys’ “best” efforts (like surrounding him when they walk in public) the vow is, of course, immediately put in jeopardy. Their troubles deepen when they visit a tea room operated by pushy, conniving stage mother Mrs. Badderly desperate to nab Davy as partner for her daughter Fern’s amateur hour act. Part of her plan involves using tea leaves to persuade them that Peter will get a virus, Mike will get a flat tire, and within twenty-four hours Davy will meet a girl and fall in love so hard he will leave home, because “the tea leaves never lie!” With some extra help from a nail and pepper, the boys are convinced and keep Davy locked up in the pad until a telegram sends him dragging a chair to judge a beauty pageant where a blurry Fern is the only contestant. After some batted eyelashes and more tea leaves, Davy decides to help Fern with her performance and it’s up to Billy Roy Hodstetter, Locksley Mendoza, and the Astonishing Pietro to bring him back to some sense.

While it’s hilarious to watch Locksley Mendoza that out-hack Mr. Hack, I gotta be honest here: this episode rests on probably the stupidest piece of Sitcom Logic in the series. I think I’ve used the term before and I should probably explain exactly what I mean by it. Basically, Sitcom Logic refers to the often stupid characteristics and behaviors exhibited by sitcom characters that no rational human would take part in it, but the comedy hinges upon their existence. It’s basically a specific brand of plot contrivance. Incidentally, I find it interesting that “contrived” is often used as a criticism when analyzing narrative media. I mean, technically speaking, most if not all art is contrived on some level, but a good craftsman of their art can keep you from seeing those strings (unless, of course, seeing those strings is the entire point.) Now, The Monkees series calls attention to its strings plenty and does well at making the audience ignore them when it wants. Neither of which happens in the case of “Too Many Girls,” because I find it impossible to overlook Davy’s total stupidity. Like, dude would’ve been completely safe from the consequences of so-called prophetic tea leaves if he had stayed in the pad for just that one measly day. One! Like, come on! I can begrudgingly forgive and understand superstition, but not that.  And yeah, yeah, I know this is pretty much a “why didn’t the eagles take the Ring to Mordor?” situation where doing the “sensible” thing would result in no story at all (and no Billy Roy Hodstetter would indeed be a loss), but… man, there had to have been a better way to go about it.

I also wanted to touch on the fact that this is one of a few episodes in the series to have an alternate or subtitle. I’ve already discusses a few, like “One Man Shy” and “Here Come the Monkees.” It’s an aspect of the series that always kind of confused me in that I don’t know why they just couldn’t settle on a title for the episodes in question. Of course, as someone who often has a difficult time settling on one word to describe things (hell, I’ve done it a few times in this very post), I know I have no room to judge. I’m just curious. I know these posts are meant to mostly be off the cuff and loose, but maybe this is one thing I should try to look into, see what I can find, and report back on when the next dual title wielding episode comes up.