"The Monkees" Rewatch: Monkees On The Line

In “Monkees On The Line” Mike decides the band should hire an answering service, since not being home or answering the phone when they are around could cost them gigs. When they try to negotiate a lower rate at the Urgent Answering Service, the lone operator offers them a job with service included on top of the regular pay. They accept and she goes to Jamaica, but not before she establishes the main rule: “Don’t get involved with the clients.” It takes all of one phone call before that rule is thrown right out the window, because Mike encounters a client, Ellen Farnsby, he believes is suicidal. (*jazz hands* Comedy! But fear not, she’s simply an actress using the service to rehearse and “live [her] part” for a play.) While Mike and Micky run to check on her, Davy and Peter take over the phones, only for Davy to leave in search of the recipient of an urgent message from “Zelda-baby” and get caught in a circular chase sequence with a cop and his angry wife. Left to his own devices, Peter schedules what he thinks is a gig for a band and ends up hidden in the wall after pushing a red button. Eventually the misunderstandings come to a head in another chase around a giant telephone.

Like I said last time, perhaps on paper this seems too weird or silly, but it’s all in the execution and the execution here is brilliant. In fact, if I had to pick this might be my favorite episode of season one. It’s simply hilarious and the writing and performances are on point, though it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that to me Mike is the absolute star of this episode. He frequently has great facial expressions (see "Monkee Chow Mein"), but “On The Line” is loaded with absurd Mike faces. Given that he’s generally the level-headed straight man of season one (to the extent that it even has one), it’s fun to watch him go off the wall and over the top with his performance. And while I love the bonkers stuff, I gotta say that one of my favorite moments is Mike’s relatively dry delivery of “No, I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number we don’t have a telephone.”

My only real complaint would be Davy’s assertion that Mike got involved with Ellen’s situation because he was “kinda hooked on” her. Right, because there is no other reason why someone might be concerned when another person claims they’re so lonely they “can’t go on” and want “to end it all.” Yeah, nope, no. No other possible reason. Empathy for a fellow person in distress? Basic decency and compassion? Nah! He just wanted on her because hysterical phone calls are so damn hot. Jeez. Though he says, “How could I not?” in response to Davy and babbles about masculinity, most of Mike’s reaction makes it seem like maybe he did it to be the hero, so to speak, or at least wants to look that way to the others. An idea not nearly as out of character for him considering much of the show characterizes him as someone who helps people, be they his friends or others, such as in “Monkees Vs Machine,” “Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth,” and even the ending of “I’ve Got A Little Song Here.” Could it be that I’m just blind, since he’s favorite? Maybe, but for now I’m sticking to my guns and my dislike.

Finally, given that the very concept of an answering service was something of an anachronism by the time I got into the Monkees, I must echo Mike’s confusion, how do you tell which one is ringing?